MRD calendars, as promised

Come out and play, Memphis! Good times are promised, AND you'll get to see me. Not on skates, of course. But there.

When I skate, my brains shake loose a little

Concussions are so not fun. Even "slight concussions," basically a term for the non-unconscious brain injury, suck major butt. First, there's a headache. Then, dizziness similar to that gained from drinking mojitos all night and not eating (a.k.a., the "spins"); after that, a tightness and dull pain in the head that can cause auras, which migraine sufferers are familiar with. Headaches that don't go away with OTC or prescription meds, are not allergy-related or sinus-pressure variety, and which creep back down the spine (if you land hard enough on your tailbone, it shakes ya right up to your brain-- you don't necessarily have to land on your head to get a concussion).
This is how mine came about. Skating around at practice last week, we were doing weaving drills. One of the other newbies, a really sweet girl and a pretty good skater, lost her balance when it came to me, and fell, pulling me down. Since she was behind me and I wasn't expecting her to grab me, I went down directly on the ole ass, which is not as padded as it used to be, and a little shock went straight back up. Good times. I shook it off, but came home and went straight to bed, as I was unusually tired (I am usually up for an hour, hour and a half after practices with adrenaline still surging through); I woke up in the middle of the night with the aforementioned spins so bad I could not walk to the bathroom without grabbing everything in arm's reach to hold me up. When I got up the next morning, the pain in my head had radiated back down into my neck and shoulders.
I probably should have gone to the doctor, and usually don't have a problem doing so. This just didn't seem like the kind of problem to take to my regular doctor, and getting a CAT scan or MRI just isn't my idea of a good time. Besides, I didn't want to be told that I couldn't practice anymore. But getting warmed up for practice tonight, I just could not get into it. I decided that, for the next few weeks, I'm going to take a break from being Smashly the Hood, and work out on my own. Then, hopefully, when I return to practicing, I will be more comfortable on my skates and won't go down so easily. Smashed the Hood doesn't sound very threatening out there on the track!

Fear and loathing in Memphrica.

Not even the end of May, technically, and already the weather has begun to heat up. I should, like, totally be prepared and used to the heat by now, but I'm like, totally, NOT. I HATE it with a passion normally ascribed to certain members of the government and various administrations; I loathe this sticky, lung-filling, oppressive heat the way I loathe the smell of garbage, asparagus, and rancid meat. Come June, most years, I turn the air down as much as I can without freezing out other members of the household and begin to walk around in as few clothes as I feel comfortable answering the door in, should anyone come calling. I take cooler showers and am generally in a foul humor until about October, when the leaves turn and the air smells of fires and football. Fall, I love. Winter, I glory in. Summer, I want to stab with a knife and deflate.
This year will be no different, aside from what seems to be an extra two or three weeks of heat. Weather.com says our forecast for the next 10 days includes heat, oppressive heat, very little rain, and more sticky humidity-laden heat.
I grew up in Florida, another reason I should be prepared and acclimated to the climate. I always joke that Florida only has two seasons-- hot and hot-as-hell-- and to that end, I suppose I could be grateful for the modicum of cooler weather we tend to experience between November and early March here in the mid-South. But because I'm me, I'm only grateful for that for a few hours a year, because the rest of the time, I'm too busy bemoaning the humidity and pollenated air to remember that, at some point, however brief, I will be able to pull out the sweaters and jeans without suffocating. I'm not much of a shorts kinda gal anyway, so summer weather for me still means capris or jeans, an occasional dress, and tank tops of the white-trash variety. I just can't dress for the season, so I try not to go out into it any more than I absolutely have to (ase in point: we've been in hibernation most of this weekend, because in opening the door to step out we choke on the thickness of the air. Then, tonight, it blessedly rained it's proverbial ass off!!!)
If you need to find me, for any reason, I will be on the couch with a Mojito, a good book, and in my undies. And don't be offended if I'm not exactly happy to see you. It isn't you, I promise.

Girls can be hardcore, too.

I have recently signed on to be a Memphis Roller Derby (www.memphisrollerderby.com) girl. The league has been around for about two years now, and up until quite recently, was based in Collierville-- kinda far to go to skate three nights a week. When I discovered they had moved to the Memphis Fairgrounds for practices and bouts, I was super-excited. There are a few moms at Maddie's school who are derby girls, and one has been encouraging me to come out and play for awhile.
So I bit the bullet and went out to watch one night, and now I'm super-pumped to go out and, as most of my friends and family say, "work out some of my aggression." (This is not in the least bit ironic, since I tend to scream at people on the road, on the phone, on the TV, and in the grocery stores when they move too slowly.) I loved watching and went the next day to get pads and skates. We do this on four-wheeled, old-fashioned skates, kids. No 'blades allowed.
The four teams in our league are Angels of Death (undefeated this season, go Angels!), the Women of Mass Destruction, The PrissKilla Prezleys, and the Legion of Zoom, or Z-Girls. They are all fantastic people. I expected, honestly, to be greeted by a bunch of meanies upon arrival, but so far, everyone has been freaking AWESOME, both on and off the track. I haven't been on skates in YEARS, so my first night out, I was ridiculous, and thought, "maybe this isn't for me." But every week I get better, get more bruises (apparently a sign of improvement!), and make more friends, and soon, I'll be eligible for a draft to get onto a team.
The travel team, composed of girls from all four teams, has lots of bouts in the summer, and I will soon post a schedule for their home bouts. The formal season will begin in the fall, and I encourage all of you to come out to the Fairgrounds and support our league-- and of course, me. I already have a "Derby name": Smashly the Hood. Look for me on a rolelr rink near you. I'll be the one falling on my ass.